Privatising the police: the dystopia starts here

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The descent into dystopia is starting and it isn’t down to someone sticking the wrong USB chord into the malevolent computer brain of Skynet, raining down Terminators on us and placing the world in the hideous position where Christian Bale is our only reasonable hope. No, as I watch dumbstruck from Ireland (the closest idiotic experiment in capitalism gone rabid), the British government is gearing up to privatise the police force

Not content with already taking a pick axe to the NHS and turning education into a playground for Latin-pushing boiled egg men like Toby Young, it now wants to turn over police functions to companies with shareholders and investors who are not accountable to the public. This is the point where it gets truly nasty. The Police are flawed in many ways but they are, in theory, no government’s private army. The new plans will put pay to that. It’s the Halliburtonisation of the Home Office by space-witch Theresa May. 

Forget whether David Cameron rode Rebekah Brookes’s police horse on hire or even rode the flame-haired avatar of all that is awful about humanity herself.

The equine distraction tactics this week are wasting cycles of brain power on pointless trivial tossery. The real issues are major: interference in a murder investigation by News International and the growing sense that there is no service, no aspect of public life that the government will not throw to the whims of the market.

Selling England by the pound? Oh Genesis, you didn’t realise how right you were. Only George Osborne will accept all major currencies with a preference for Chinese cash. 

While the government’s welfare ‘reforms’ actively attempt to cleanse the capital or the poor, the weak and the disabled to turn it into a glittering Boris-led Tory wet dream, it now turns its Sauron eye to the task of undermining the Police.

First it introduced the notion of Police Commissioners, elected figures who will be far from Commissioner Gordon, putting their ill-thought out ideas into an arena of real operational concerns and turning policing from a civic requirement into a series of fiefdoms run by juddering irrelevants like Lord Prescott. Will these New Labour/Old Labour/Old Tory arseholes never die? 

First they came for the NHS and I said nothing because I was not sick. Then they came for the disabled people and those on benefits and I said nothing because I had an income and didn’t care what the ‘scroungers’ said. Then they came for the schools and I said nothing because I had no kids. Then they came for the police force with private/public partnerships and for speaking up, I received a baton to the face. The private guards looked at their targets and smiled: dissent down 35% this month.