intercourse with biscuits a modern miscellany

• Do nothing I cannot defend.
• Cover, write and present every story with the care I would want if the story were about me.
  
• Assume there is at least one other side or version to every story.
• Assume the viewer is as smart and as caring and as good a person as I am.
• Assume the same about all people on whom I report.
• Assume personal lives are a private matter, until a legitimate turn in the story absolutely mandates otherwise.
• Carefully separate opinion and analysis from straight news stories, and clearly label everything.
• Do not use anonymous sources or blind quotes, except on rare and monumental occasions.
• No one should ever be allowed to attack another anonymously.
• And, finally, I am not in the entertainment business.

I’d say most of the British press break all of these countless times every day. Sadly Jim Lehrer’s 75-years-old and earned his stripes at a time when that kind of verifiable, carefully researched journalism was not a rarity. (via PBS)

…it’s called Interviewing Muppets and suggests appropriate and inappropriate questions.

Appropriate:
How do you like living on Sesame Street?
Who is your best friend?

Inappropriate:
Are Bert and Ernie gay?

(discovered via Radio 4 Blog)

Simon Cowell, a man who has openly admitted that he has never voted, has floated the idea of a “political X-Factor” touring the country to discuss social issues of the day and encouraging the public to call in and vote instantly on them. He envisions a red telephone at the centre of the studio to allow Number 10 to phone in and explain itself, putting the Prime Minister in the position of some half-witted friend called to action on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

Cowell’s idea for a political X-Factor would effectively be a coup d’etat by television. He has already harnessed a vast television audience to ensure huge sales of his syrupy ballads. Cowell says he sees the putative political show as “a good way for me to get involved in politics”. It would give him sway that no MP could ever wish to have alone and potentially more punch than any modern Prime Minister.

With instant votes from the public and the Tabloids at his elbow to strong-arm the government into implementing their decisions, he could very easily move the political climate even further towards quick fix solutions and the kind of emotionalism that dominates Britain’s Got Talent and The X-Factor.

Already Gordon Brown and David Cameron see it as a necessity to comment on the X-Factor winner and the battle for number one. I don’t care what politicians think about these issues. I want them to answer the tough questions: how can we deal with climate change? How can we reduce child poverty? What is the solution to the declining rate of rape convictions in the UK? 

With Cowell’s political X-Factor and red phone in place, we’d see rational discussion shoved to one side in favour of the most heart-rending narrative. Will Gordon Brown cry? Who had the most harrowing loss – Brown or Cameron? You decide. Does Nick Clegg comic appearance make him the Jedward of the show?

I can see it now. Peter Mandelson parachuted in as the “nasty judge”. A guest spot from Tony Blair. A Maggie Thatcher tribute week where the best union-bashing speeches are voted on. It sounds like a hilarious piece of satire but if Cowell did launch this show, it would be a major issue. Politics has a big problem with engagement – more and more people are like Cowell, less interested in voting for their leaders than crowning a vaguely tuneful Geordie lad winner of the X-Factor.

Cowell could bring entertainment to the world of politics but he’d also bring a further dumbing down, a binary outlook on the issues, every question summed up as a simply yes or no decided with the aid of calls to expensive phone lines. Cowell would doubtless spin a tale about bringing “democracy back to politics” but we already have a way of measuring the political will of the people – it’s called an election.

Film

Reality

Result? A draw. Let’s be honest, both clips look pretty badass. Someone send me some Runaways records for Christmas. Mine went missing.