intercourse with biscuits

New Year...

Drunk.

Dec 31st

Not another New Year's Eve

In the underground Just before midnight A hundred feet on the steps Shiver in the dark And dance...

Dec 30th

“News is what somebody, somewhere wants to suppress; all the...”
— Lord Northcliffe Current...

Dec 29th

Watch

I think I would erase most of my relationships.

Dec 27th

Watch

Hamsters: a series of psychotic episodes

Dec 27th

My favourite Christmas present: Tatty Devine volume knob...

Dec 26th

Gilbert & George ‘Hope’ brooch. The...

Dec 26th

“I can detect when a thing is Kafkaesque or Chekhovian but...”
— - Harold Pinter Because I...

Dec 25th

Julie Walters...

…just told me to test my smoke alarm. Christmas adverts are getting strange.

Dec 25th

Watch

The Caretaker - Harold Pinter (1963) Harold Pinter has passed away aged 78. RIP Harold, you made...

Dec 25th

Watch

The finale of The Office special is my all time favourite Christmas TV moment. The writing is just...

Dec 24th

misanthropolis: ...

Dec 23rd

London needs a venue like The Moth

Dec 22nd

“1950s Dick Stolley, who started his decades-long Time Inc....”
— from A Short History Of Perks...

Dec 22nd

Watch

Little Boots covers Last Christmas

Dec 22nd

Plane crash man shares his thoughts in the...

Dec 22nd

Drunk with a camera-phone. Friday 19 December 2008

Dec 22nd

Listen

Invaders Must Die - The Prodigy  In Prodigy World it’s 1992 again. And thank fuck for that. 

Dec 22nd

“It’s got a good chorus.”
— Leonard Cohen on why...

Dec 22nd

Watch

“Empires crumble, my friend, republics founder and fools survive.” Jean Luc Godard -...

Dec 21st

Architecture for skateboarding (via Lewism)

Dec 21st

“I want my own adjective. I want people to describe films as...”

Dec 21st

A: I can't sleep.
B: What?! I was sleeping. You just woke me up.
A: But I can't sleep.
B: So I can't either?
A: I need your help. I haven't slept for...I dunno...three days.
B: OK. Well. Go to the doctors or take a pill or I drink some booze.
A: I have. I'm drunk.
B: I'm sorry but I need to sleep.
A: Sleep. Don't talk to me about sleep.
B: No. Don't talk to me about sleep, let me get on with it.
A: Don't rub your sleep in my face. I can't do it. I can't bloody sleep.
B: What do you expect me to do?
A: What can I do to get to sleep?
B: Count sheep.
A: Oh yes, very good. Very original.
B: I'm going to put down the phone.
A: Don't go.
B: Why?
A: Don't go, I'm bored. It's boring, all this, not sleeping.
B: Can't you write?
A: No. I don't have any ideas.
B: Write about someone who can't sleep.
A: And then what...?
B: They could phone their friend and bother them about not sleeping.
A: Don't take the piss.

Dec 21st

I have this habit of promising myself that I’ll go to sleep early on a Sunday night then...

Dec 21st

Rewriting Russian history: in praise of...

Dec 21st

“What is the most disloyal dog breed?”
— My favourite question from the...

Dec 21st

Rolling Stone: The Legend Of Master Legend

Dec 21st

“If you ever call my band a bunch of juvenile Nazi lovers...”
— - Rob Gretton  I fully...

Dec 19th

The periodic table of awesomeness (from Dapperstache.com via...

Dec 19th

You know you're a geek when...

…you’re annoyed by Rolling Stone claiming Guile was a character in Mortal Combat. Was...

Dec 17th

Listen

Crystal Stilts - Crystal Stilts  While Glasvegas have dragged Jesus And Mary Chain style noise-pop...

Dec 17th

sarazucker: the level of laziness of the vice editors has...

Dec 16th

The Patio Set playing Thursday night @ 10.30PM.  If...

Dec 16th

One way of getting a date (spotted on the railings outside...

Dec 16th

My job…

…is making me ache. Physically and mentally. 

Dec 15th

Listen

Womanizer (Britney Spears cover) - Lily Allen  Lily’s jangly acoustic take on Britney. I...

Dec 15th

“When he died, there were all these nonsensical stories...”
— Terry Gilliam goes slightly...

Dec 14th

Watch

Kanye’s autotune goes AWOL on Saturday Night Live — cue off key warblings.

Dec 14th

The Sun at its least self-aware

Dec 14th

Listen

Sometimes when this place gets kind of empty Sound of their breath fades with the light I think...

Dec 14th

“The Apartment was great…I remember Marilyn Monroe was...”
— Shirley MacLaine

Dec 14th

The inner Putin via Interior Design Room Obviously space...

Dec 14th

Julia Allison as Santa Claus

Dec 14th

Does this MR T-esque medallion suggest the Tumblr premium...

Dec 12th

“The deal was secured when he drew a penis in some fake snow....”
— A member of The Patio Set (who...

Dec 12th

Listen

The SinKing - Crystal Stilts  With vocals mixed low beneath jangling distorted guitars and an...

Dec 12th

The troubadour is dead

The list of unacceptable words and phrases beloved of music reviews is vast but the worst of all is...

Dec 12th

Autographed ticket from the Jam’s final concert in...

Dec 12th

Watch

The Blue Ribbon glee club choir cover Pixies’ Where Is My Mind? 

Dec 11th

With hindsight

There’s no money in writing  she said  filling in her application  You’d be better...

Dec 11th

Watch

Metallica: All Nightmare Long  In an alternative history the Soviets unleash a zombie plague on the...

Dec 11th

Watch

Terminator: Judgement Day  Christian Bale busts out his bizarre Batman whisper yet again. 

Dec 11th

Ideal woman of the week: Andrea Riseborough. 

Dec 11th

Watch

Johnny Marr explains how he created the sound of The Smiths on Imagine: The Story Of The Guitar. I...

Dec 10th

Watch

The Trons: a robot band from New Zealand.  An incredible homemade robot band created by a guy who...

Dec 10th

“English inventor and statistician Francis Galton…carried a...”
— Again from the Wall Street...

Dec 10th

“Full English Short for “a full English...”
— - an American defines a Full...

Dec 10th

Soon you too will be able to obsessively...

Dec 10th

Nicholas Feltron’s average day in 2007 (from his 2007...

Dec 10th

Things That Bears Love beats Stuff White People Like hands...

Dec 10th

My kind of card. From Sycamore Street Press

Dec 10th

“Suppose, if you will, that I am part of a silent Martian...”
— Oliver Postgate (from his...

Dec 10th

Last night I got drunk  and wrote your name  in felt-tip pen  on every lampost I passed  I was...

Dec 10th

“Talent being one of those horrible modern catch-all phrases...”
— - Charlie Brooker, The...

Dec 9th

Watch

Mark E Smith pays tribute to John Peel on This Is Your Life in 1996. David Gedge from The Wedding...

Dec 9th

Watch

“Unplug the jukebox and do us all a favour.” I am currently obsessed with Antmusic by...

Dec 9th

Blog crush of the day: Girl With A Satchel

Dec 9th

The most pointless cover of the most pointless magazine. 

Dec 9th

betamaxmas.com is amazing. I’ve just watched Max...

Dec 9th

Morbo: Morbo will now introduce tonights candidates. Puny human number one, puny human number two and Morbo’s good friend Richard Nixon.
Nixon: Hello Morbo. How’s the family?
Morbo: Belligerent and numerous.
Nixon: Good man, Nixon’s pro-war and pro-family.

Dec 9th

Richard Nixon’s Head 2012 

Dec 9th

Here is the weather forecast

It’s winter. It’s cold. There’s rain. The snow will not settle. 

Dec 9th

All The Women I've Ever Loved

I wrote down the names of all the women I have ever loved - it filled the back of a picture...

Dec 9th

Shaving with a dull edge I dream of a day when exceedingly rich I fill cupboards with refills ...

Dec 9th

Watch

The Clangers…and the intruder RIP Oliver Postgate

Dec 9th

Oscar Wilde’s earliest known letter to Bosie (the boy...

Dec 8th

My ideal car: the Nissan Figaro. My housemate says...

Dec 8th

More script bits

A: Have you ever made New Year’s resolutions?
B: When I was kid, I suppose. But they never lasted. You?
A: Every year.
B: What were last year’s?
A: Get a better job, lose weight, lose him, get another better version of him, give up chocolate, take up yoga.
B: And how many did you manage?
A: I went to that free Yoga tasting session.
B: And then…?
A: I twisted my ankle, went home, argued with him, ate some chocolate.
B: You’re basically Bridget Jones aren’t you? An indie rock Bridget Jones.
A: No. She had options. I’m an indie rock proto-Eleanor Rigby. I’m going to end up dying alone and eaten by my growing brood of cats. Not found til one day the milkman breaks down the door in the desperate hope of getting his bill paid.
B: I think you’re being overly dramatic.
A: Hey, at least I made some resolutions!

Dec 8th

The positive side of the credit crunch. (This month’s...

Dec 8th

brilliantology: brokenbottleboy: Brokenbottleboy likes...

Dec 8th

Brokenbottleboy likes brilliantology for liking him so...

Dec 8th

Urbanism As A Way Of Life - Louis Wirth

Dec 8th

Another rancid photo from Frangry

Dec 8th

“Pages from the middle of the book have been torn out by the...”
— From a short article on...

Dec 8th

A Fafinette, one of the signature characters of French...

Dec 8th

Bauldoff reveals he has over 1000 followers.

Dec 8th

Three extracts from Esquire's Pleasure...

06 The smug feeling of one upmanship to be had, unapologetically unfurling a large-format...

Dec 8th

More watcher than watched. 

Dec 8th

Dawkins vs Harry Potter

Dec 8th

“The thing I do with my comedy is not preachy, militant or...”
— Ricky Gervais talking to The...

Dec 8th

One of the most horrific Google ad-words ads I’ve ever...

Dec 8th

R. Sikoryak, 1990

Dec 8th

“One should never hate somebody whom one cannot destroy.”
— Sebastian Horsley, Dandy In...

Dec 8th

The creepiest nursery in the world, Cambridge Heath

Dec 8th

Wondermark.com’s hierarchy of beards.

Dec 7th

Authonomy: a social network for writers...

Dec 7th

Great Museum Of Childhood poster.

Dec 7th

“Plain packaging, also known as generic, standardised or...”
— From a Department Of Health...

Dec 7th

Blank packets via We Made This

Dec 7th

Watch

The Prisoner (Opening Credits) ITV is launching a remake this summer but it can never match the...

Dec 7th

Liverpool Street Station, Sunday 12 December 2008. Andy...

Dec 7th

How A Computer Works, Penguin, 1971 via The Pointless Museum

Dec 7th

Google’s suggestion for an image of self-pity. ...

Dec 5th

“Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is...”
— Terry Pratchett (via elt) ...

Dec 5th

“Karen Matthews is pure evil.”
— Detective Superintendent Andy...

Dec 5th

Britain tops The League Of Promiscuous...

Dec 5th

Watch

Peter Saville talking about how his iconic sleeves for Factory came about. 

Dec 5th

“Writing is easy. All you need to do is stare at a blank...”
— William Goldman, Adventures In...

Dec 5th

Bothered by the birds

They’re out there again, beaks tapping at the windowsill, claws slipping on the condensation, tens...

Dec 5th

“Sperm is like lending someone less than a fiver, you...”
— Mark, Peep Show Series 5

Dec 5th

Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe: Series 4:...

Dec 5th

Nick Cave, The Pixies, My Bloody Valentine, Jesus And Mary...

Dec 4th

Blur interviewed in the NME circa 1994. Somehow I suspect...

Dec 4th

Watch

Obama’s rendition of TI’s Whatever I Like

Dec 4th

Watch

“Can you spare us a tenner?”  “No, I’m a dog.”  David Mitchell stars...

Dec 4th

Pepsi Max suicidal calorie ad. Controversy ahoy?

Dec 4th

“For years Peckinpa maintained that he had shot his chin off....”
— Graham Lineham (one half of...

Dec 3rd

Listen

sarazucker: elvis costello - is she really going out with him? It’s not Elvis, it’s Joe...

Dec 3rd

The real cover for Morrissey’s new record, Years Of...

Dec 3rd

The loneliness map of Britain

Dec 2nd

Bands people say I should like but which...

Dec 2nd

“Never mind overjoyed Just start with happy There’s...”
— Hey Self Defeater - Mark...

Dec 2nd

Watch

The Madness Of Prince Charming: Awesome Adam Ant documentary.

Dec 2nd

This one’s a little too close to home. A Softer World

Dec 2nd

Film dialogue 12541324

A: Have you ever made New Year's resolutions?
B: When I was kid, I suppose. But they never lasted. You?
A: Every year.
B: What were last year's?
A: Get a better job, lose weight, lose him, get another better version of him, give up chocolate, take up yoga.
B: And how many did you manage?
A: I went to that free Yoga tasting session.
B: And then…?
A: I twisted my ankle, went home, argued with him, ate some chocolate.
B: You're basically Bridget Jones aren't you? An indie rock Bridget Jones.
A: No. She had options. I'm an indie rock proto-Eleanor Rigby. I'm going to end up dying alone and eaten by my growing brood of cats. Not found til one day the milkman breaks down the door in the desperate hope of getting his bill paid.
B: I think you're being overly dramatic.
A: Hey, at least I made some resolutions!

Dec 2nd

Watch

Subtext (a short film) Tales Of Mere Existence by Lev

Dec 2nd

Thoughts on the festive season

I spend most of the time feeling anxious. Even the fact that I am anxious most of the time has...

Dec 2nd

Listen

Highgate Owl Nightmare - The Patio Set.  Fugazi and The Cure walk into a bar. The Patio Set are...

Dec 2nd

Film dialogue part 13325234

A: I have these great plans. I write them down in my notebook and then…nothing.
B: You’ve got to do something. You can’t just, you know, sit around.
A: When I die, someone will look in my notebooks and realise I was this brilliant young writer. If only they’d listened.
B: Why not be a brilliant young writer who actually, I don’t know, writes something?
A: I never seem to get round to it.
B: It’s because you’re always talking about it. Do something.
A: That’s mine then. That’s my resolution for next year. I’m going to Do Something.
B: That’s a bit too broad.
A: What do you mean a bit too broad?
B: You can’t just say you’re going to Do Something. That’s like saying you’re going to give up Something for Lent. It’s totally meaningless if you’re not specific.
A: Ok. I’m going to write Something.
B: Again – not really specific enough.
A: Right. I’m going to write Something. Something Good. Something Worthwhile. Something that will…that will make girls like me.
B: Now we’re getting somewhere.

Dec 2nd

“My main source of vitamin C is lime wedges in G+Ts.”

Dec 2nd

Urban Outfitters lets you select Christmas gifts by...

Dec 2nd

Listen

Smash Up Derby (apparently the world’s only live mash-up band) crash Billy Idol’s White...

Dec 1st

Watch

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For (The Literal Version)  “There’s...

Dec 1st

Watch

One man recreates Michael Jackson’s Thriller totally acapella in this video made up of 64...

Dec 1st

“Sweet? Where do you get off - where do you get “sweet”? I am...”
— Patrick Fugit, Almost Famous...

Nov 30th

“Intercourse with Biscuits (unofficial Tumblelog Name of the...”
— -Inky Awww. Cheers!

Nov 30th

Watch

Jona Lewie - Stop The Cavalry My favourite Christmas song of all time. A great combination of...

Nov 30th